The question I don’t ask in interviews
When I train employees about interview best practices, I always insist on the questions they should not ask. They need to know it’s illegal to ask questions about age, relationship situation, sexual orientation, religion, ethnic origin, or political views. These questions are illegal for a reason: they do not relate to the candidate’s ability to do the job.
There is one other question I advise them not to ask. A very common question that interviewers seem to be asking again and again. A question with major tradeoffs, which could result in discriminating against or alienating some group of candidates— consciously or not.
“What do you do on weekends?”
Ask yourself. Have you ever used this question in an interview situation? If the answer is yes, you might wonder what’s wrong with it. All you want is to build a rapport with the candidates. You might be using this question to make them feel comfortable. Maybe you’re even using it as an ice-breaker. It can’t be that bad?!
I think it is. Let me explain… (and give you an alternative)
Why you should consider banning this question from your interviews
1. You might put someone in a very uncomfortable situation
You don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives. The person in front of you could be going through some tough times. What if they’re taking care of their siblings because their only parent has to work two jobs? What if their partner is dealing with depression? What if they’re going through a divorce? What if they’re currently in a very difficult financial situation?
This may sound anecdotal, but these things happen more often than we like to think. Not all of us have time, money or mental space for doing great things out of work. You could unsettle someone and impact their performance in the interview, and ultimately miss out on a great candidate.
Hopefully, this reason alone will make you change your perspective. But I can think of two more reasons in case you need an additional nudge.
2. You could disadvantage introverts
Some people will feel psychologically invaded by this question. Introverts tend to not like small talk. They may not enjoy answering personal questions to someone they don’t already know. Interviewing with you might already be draining their energy… this question could finish them.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying introverts don’t have hobbies or wouldn’t have anything to say. You might be an introvert yourself and thinking you’d love to answer this question. I’m saying some people will feel uneasy, and won’t leave you with an unforgettable impression. We all know someone extremely funny who is perceived as quiet and distant by people they don’t know.
Try to consider that when you ask people what they do outside of work, your impression will tend to be more positive if they are, or learned to be, socially ‘noisy’.
3. You most likely won’t get an honest answer
Think about it. It’s so easy — and quite tempting — to lie to this question. Some candidates will put a gloss on their answer just to look cool in your eyes. Which ultimately will result in not learning much about them, apart from their ability to transform a high level of procrastination into a passion for kitesurfing 🤷🏽.
We find so many reasons to lie in our daily lives. To avoid an awkward situation, to protect our privacy, or simply to win someone’s admiration. Interviews are no different. If candidates don’t lie to hide a discomfort… they will lie to win your admiration, and you can’t blame them! They want the freaking job, i.e. they want you to like them.
The alternative
I’m all for building connections with candidates and I believe it’s key to the success of a recruitment process — from the company and the candidate’s perspective. But as I explained, questioning people about what they do outside of work has major tradeoffs.
The good news is, there is a way to 1. avoid taking people back to their current struggle, 2. not invade their private life and 3. enable authenticity. The only thing you have to do is… 🥁🥁🥁… using hypothetical questions based on imagined scenarios:
- If there were 25 hours in a day, what would you do with that extra hour?
- What hobby would you like to take up if you could?
- What’s your dream holiday destination?
- What food could you eat every single day for the rest of your life?
- If you could instantly make the world better, what would you do?
Remember these questions have nothing to do with the job and should be used as ice-breakers only. Make it fun and easy for candidates to be open, don’t throw it at them abruptly. And above all… share something about yourself too! Building connection with someone is a two way street.
What if you get this question during an interview?
You might currently be looking for a job and worrying that you’ll get asked about your hobbies. If I were you, I would… answer the question. I mean, you could say “it’s my personal life, none of your business” but it may not be the best idea if you want the job 😅. No interviewer will like it if you avoid the question. Start by accepting you have to come up with an answer.
It doesn’t mean you have to share private details about your life. You can answer with something hypothetical: “I like to do different things on weekends… I’m actually thinking about starting to [insert something you might want to pick up one day]”. The good thing is you can’t lie about the future, but try to say something that still sounds like you.
— —
Thanks for reading! 🙏
Please feel free to comment, I’d love to read your suggestions and thoughts.
